Dear Settlers,
With the recent transition of decades I’ve taken a lot of time to sit back and reflect over the past year of my life. To say this year has been a “growth year” for me would be an understatement. One year ago, I was living out of a suitcase in California with courage in my heart, tears in my eyes, pennies in my pockets, hope in my soul and vodka in my cup. I guess the phrase-“not all who wander are lost” would be the best way to describe my life a year ago… life opened a challenge to me and I accepted it however this journey started off a bit rocky. This was probably because I had just been forced into retirement from living the dream: College. So I spent the next 9 months of my life wishing I could go back, missing the people and trying to balance a checkbook where FUN was the largest spender. Oh and did I mention I was paid about 3 dollars an hour when all was said and done….. yes, I was ordering life on the rocks.
However, looking back on this has made me realize the power of a year. Recently I have been quoted, “Wow, what a difference a year can make.” I knew this year was going to be epic but I had no way to foresee the magnitude of change these 365 days would have in store for me.
A few years ago when I was in college, I was out one night enjoying “girls night out.” We were sharing stories about the past, mainly consisting of nights where we drank to many margaritas, danced on one too many bars or fell in love with one too many “prince charmings.” It was a typical girl’s night out until one of my girlfriends looked me straight in my blurry eyes and said, “Amber, I can’t wait till you meet someone and they settle you down.”
Now, at this point in my life… you could only imagine my disbelief. You could only imagine my face when these fascist words sounded in my head. I couldn’t even respond. I had an overload of negative thoughts. “Who in the hell did this girl think she was.” “Settle down? I don’t need anyone to settle me down.” “This is probably why she doesn’t have a boyfriend right now… settle down, what is this submissive chick thinking.” “She obviously doesn’t know who she’s talking to.”
Most of the time chit chat while you are out drinking never has a profound effect on you, however this did. It made me feel so small, yet so big. This statement made me doubt my very being yet gave my inner core confidence all at the same time. See at that point in my life, I was full speed ahead into the direction of “Independence” whatever Amber wanted, I got for myself. Whatever I thought was necessary I did. Whatever was going to be fun in the moment I RSVPed, ASAP. The words “settle down” where not in my vocabulary. I was outraged that this girl thought that I was seeking to be settled down. The only thing I was settled down about was- that I was in fact in no shape to settle down.
My independence, self-centered, live for me and only me gears were moving at a mile a minute. I was single and loving it. I was traveling and embracing it. I was moving full speed in every direction too a rhythm in my own head.
Funny the difference a year has made.
Funny the difference a change in perspective makes for you. Funny who will come into your life to create this change of attitude, change of heart.
Those gears I mentioned before… they have began to slowdown, I can actually feel them inside of me changing direction. I can feel the wheels of priority, the wheels of purpose, the wheels of clarity changing. The way I think and see things is changing. Maybe some would call it growing up, some would call it maturity, but I see it as much more then this… It’s a birth of a new age, a beginning of something magical. It’s the start of the next chapter in my life, which coincides great with the start of the new decade.
This year of blogging has been an adventure for me as well. It’s been a journey of deep development. When I started a year ago I never thought I would receive the responses from readers as I have, and for this I am greatly blessed.
Relationships are the building boxes, the glue and the foundation of this blog. Over the year I have posed questions, declared visions and raised more than one questionable topic. A wise man once told me “Change: it’s the only thing that’s constant.” Well… New Year: New Drinks: New Bog.
After careful consideration and conversations, I have decided to bring some extra spice to the mix this year. Since I spent a year complaining, questioning, wondering, asking, declaring, pondering views and ideas of relationships, I thought why not have some say/perspective from the other side… I’m not afraid to admit my dependency to Self-Help books, (no joke I once got caught reading “Dump The Slump and Find a Quality Man”--- in an airport, by an attractive male (might I add) So I figured it might be fun to create my own rendition of a relationship self help guide. So cheers to the new challenge, the collision of perspectives: a Man and a Woman. Sit back stir yourself up a good/strong cosmo and let’s see where this year can take us; because it’s my hope this life is like a fine wine…. Just gets better with time.
With Love and a changing heart,
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