Dear Techies,
As I sit at my desk playing tug-a-war with my blackberry, I just have to laugh… never did I ever think a red blinking light would have me on the edge of my seat in anticipation. Yes, I admit it I’m being outrageously crazy!! I am waiting for a certain person, with a particular message to send me a less then critical communication. For those of you who haven’t sold your soul for the infectious addiction, Crackberry… there is a small light at the top of my blackberry that will blink when I receive a message. This message could be a work email, a tweet, a text message, a picture message, a blackberry message, a personal email, a facebook notification, or heaven forbid someone actually is picking up their phone to call you. The light blinks red and my heart skips a beat.
The other day, I was talking to my grandparents about every older persons favorite topic... the changing tides of technology. (If you ever are at a loss of words with the elderly, just ask them about what they think of the internet… works like charm.) Now I must give a shout out to my Grandfather, this man owns a laptop, cell phone and a flat screen with surround sound, he’s not afraid of the changes. My grandfather was explaining to me how when he was a 20-something year old, there was only one communication technology and he never used it. “We had one phone in the house and I never used it, only to call my sweetie” My Grandmother is blushing.- My Grandparents have been married for over 55 years and are still madly in love. Not like fake, oh I’ve been with this person for so long I’m use to all the crap they’re gonna throw my way today. Madly, deeply, truly in love with each other- they are best of friends and best of partners. It’s honestly the greatest testimony in my life to say- marriage works! But I’m not hear to gush about how cute my Gparents are… let’s back this love boat up.
Life was so simply. There was one phone and if you wanted to get in touch with someone you picked the plastic hunk on the wall and dialed a number, where it rang to the receiver. End of the story. There were no ring tones, status updates, profile pictures, “secret messages”, wall posts, tweets, privacy settings, text messages, bbm groups… the list is never ending.
I’m not some crazy anti-communication hippy, I love my phone, I love my social networks and I love my ability to silently scream my thoughts across the air ways… but just sometimes it makes me stop and think. As great as all of these communication tools are, we all know they come with some baggage, some secrets and some trouble.
VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED::
“well I texted his phone and he didn’t answer. Then I sent “you out of work” to his bbm, and I know he got it..(blackberry messager-shows when the message has been delivered/read) Then he called me and said he was working late and couldn’t use his phone, but 5 minutes later he updated his twitter account “what’s good for tonight” so then I emailed his work email which never was opened- only to find tagged pictures of him out at some party on facebook the following day”
Needless to say, this is a bit over dramatic however I’m willing to bet you can crawl back into time and locate a situation similar. All these technologies have completely complicated our love lives. To think that my grandparents experienced one line of communication while dating is beyond breathtaking to me. There is no need to bring up the statistics in divorce rate or failed relationships in our generation compared to our grandparents and yes though, many factors contribute, I think we are silly to not factor in our communication trends. There is no need to deny- a simpler life=a simpler romance.
Communication in a relationship is essential, however maybe our generation has such a plethora of ways to communicate that the vital heartbeat of communication is fading….One-on-One communication.
Could it be that we are getting caught up in the noise of constant communication and forgetting the one thing we need to say. I witness couples looking miserable together at dinner both on their phones… I can’t help but wonder, if they put down the devices and had meaningful conversation with each other.. what would happen? Instead of posting our feelings to the world maybe the one person that needs to hear them the most is sitting right next to us? And please, please know someone’s eye color before you “friend” them on facebook.
I guess at the end of the day I just want communication with the people in my life to survive outside the realm of blinking lights, bings and dings. I never want to lose value of the spoken word or value of words spoken.
With love and flashing lights,
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