Dear "embarrassed" Singles,
Can I just take a moment to vent? Okay, I knew once I graduated College it was only inevitable that my friends would settle down, get married, have babies and join the traditions…. but currently I feel like Facebook is stressing me out. My entire news feed is filled with marriage updates, cooking for in-laws, photos of newborn babies, new homes and snap shots of engagement rings. I mean what is a single Gal to do, ignore them and go back to posting witty “Sex in the City” quotes? After awhile you can’t help but start comparing and allowing that crazy voice in your head to start posing questions…. “And Amber… what do you have to say for yourself?”
Unlike most of my blogs where I reminisce on theory or ideas… I want to try to set a picture for you. Recently I had a fabulous- eye opening- life changing- tear jerking- non-stop laughing-“Oh my gosh you didn’t”-rager- I can’t believe it’s over weekend- with three of my best friends. I traveled to the place I often refer to as my heart- Charlotte, North Carolina to celebrate Red, White and Booze. I have spent the past 3 Fourth of July’s in Charlotte with these friends and each year is a bit different yet totally the same. Let me try to describe these friends in a nut shell so to better understand…
Kim, college Cheerleader-long bopping pony tail, giggling, flirts with every player on the team- Science nerd, sorority sister. (Yes, that actually does exist.) Kim’s gorgeous and extremely intelligent, end of story. We met freshman year and our lives quickly paralleled… we lived in all the rager spots on campus, attended spring break in Panama City, dated Wingate athletes and even after four years… dancing like ninny’s NEVER gets old. We made the responsible decision as fresh 21 year olds to spend an entire summer together in Charlotte (bottoms up!) and we had more fun in those three months then most have in a lifetime. There is no doubt that over the years there have been too many memories to count (or account for).
Jacq –Sassy- Princess- Exotic Barbie- to whom I owe so much of my confidence and witty position in life to, sorority sister. She has been a mentor, biggest fan, life-coach and partner in crime. Although at the end of the day… we appreciate more of each other then most people even recognize in themselves. We celebrate our tremendously in tune way of thinking by never missing an opportunity to call each other out and the list of hilarious-ness between us is a never-ending growing record.
For the past 6 years of our lives- Jacq, Kim and I always shared the same status…. Single and damn proud of it, unless of course we were dating. (Which by the way...only got more fabulous) See to set the record straight, for the most part, all my girlfriends in college never had serious relationships. In the passion of the moment some of us thought our significant other was someone to talk about … but serious? No- I would never attach that adjective. We had a blast in college-single or dating-but we never took anything too seriously.
Now let’s please fast-forward to present life. My comrades have found love. This weekend proved that much to me. They are madly-crazily-passionately-baby this, honey that- head-over heals-seriously in love. Jacq with Tee/Kim with Micah…. Please take a moment to let that sink in…… My two co-pilots traded in their wings. None-the-less and aside from the jokes- I do want to add that I am filled with exuberant happiness for both of them and wish them nothing but the best. XO.
On the flip side and to give this tale a bit more spice let me introduce another character to the plot. My best guy friend friend Lee who I have known for the last six years and also celebrated that past 3 fourths with. My oh My, where do I begin… well I will start with- I have never had more laughs, more drinks and more fun with any other guy to date. Through the years we have shared relationships, boy/girl problems, pool days, spring breaks, holidays, families, tears, jokes and so much more. His family became a second home to me while I lived in Charlotte for that legendary summer and through the years we have created a hodgepodge of countless memories. Now without adding to much complication into this… Lee and I also were a “something” once upon a time and if you can tell me the beginning and end to this… well than you are one step ahead of me. Basically, when all is said and done, if Lee is around a smile never leaves my face, and through it all, thick and thin-complicated and simplistic, he’s remains one of my best friends.
So back at the Ranch… I spent the weekend with Jacq/Tee, Kimber/Miacha and Lee. And through this weekend I witnessed a great deal of clarity in my life. See with all the Facebook stressing, friends getting married and with my two close commands settling down... I began to think, about where I stood on this current true-life issue. Also thinking… how would I react to seeing Jacq and Kim in these committed/serious relationships? Would I yearn to have something similar in my life? Was I going to feel less adequate? How would I react to the change?
Now, I don’t think I need to elaborate on my status… still very much in the singleton mode, independent working woman with absolutely no desire (or apparent appearance) of settling down any time soon. And I am here to say “That’s OKAY!” (Recently a lot of my friends have expressed the need for that reassurance, bringing the conversation up in embarrassment.)
The trip to see my friends did in fact answer a lot of questions for me. And the answer is No, I’m not ready to be involved in a serious relationship. I’m not ready for the commitments, the sacrifices, the desires- you name it, I’m not ready, maybe timing really is everything. But more than this I’ve come to the realization that happiness varies from person to person and relationship to relationship- no one should throw stones. What makes ones person’s world complete could leave another’s world empty. Just like everyone has their own taste in a significant other… we all have our own unique taste for happiness. And last but not least…some people find their happiness in a person…. And some people just want to find someone to share their happiness with. So go on… allow yourself to find your happiness.
With love and heart,
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