It’s like one day you realize that the fairytale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle." -Grey's

Dear Non-believers,

This year I received a birthday card that I keep on my desk in my office. I always appreciate when someone decides to spend the ridiculous/totally worth it, extra 6 bucks to express their (or someone working for Hallmarks) feelings. (Honestly though, if you are ever having a crappy day or trouble expressing some emotion… just mosey into the nearest Hallmark store… all the world’s problems-solved.) “A Birthday Fairy Tale”- Once upon a time, there was a princess who was like a size four or something. She could eat and drink whatever she wanted and always stayed really skinny and had flat, firm abs even though she never when to the gym. Every time she tried on jeans, the very first pair fit perfectly and made her butt look amazing. She lived in a great big, beautiful castle with her handsome, multimillionaire husband, who was busy all the time buying her giant diamonds, taking her to Hawaii, giving her foot massages, and telling her how beautiful she was. One day she was eaten by a dragon and no one cared. The End. Hope your birthday’s even better than a fairy tale.

This card sits on my desk not just because it’s pink and loaded with glitter, but I think there is a lot of wisdom and truth to take from this card. See if you are anything like me, You grew up glued to the television watching fairytales... Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Lady and the Tramp, and so on. Okay, I’ll speak for myself here… but from age 3 till about 6 years old, I imagined these story lines magically playing out as my life- a fairytale. I was SUCH a girl growing up.(I understand this statement is horribly frightening for you if….A) you have seen my bedroom currently (PINK) B) if you understand my love for glitter and can possibly imagine it was grander C) you hear me talk on a regular basis)

Barbie’s, baby dolls and glitter- rinse and repeat, playing “make believe” was my forte and I was fabulous at it. I will never forget the day when my vision of life, love and fairy tales changed forever. It was a beautiful spring day and I was playing my favorite make believe game- Barbie’s, with another fabulous 6 year old, when our older (by 9 months) and way cooler friend (mostly because she had inherited some amazing Barbie’s and accessories from her older sister) ran into our innocent game with news our precious ears were just not ready for. “Girls! Big news, did you know…. In order to have babies you have to KISS a boy… after you get married of course, but that’s what my Mom told me today.”

Those words haunted my dreams- sure I had seen the princesses in the movies kiss their prince.. but me? I had to? (late bloomer, okay, okay.) So later that night I thought to myself, “Well if I was going to have to kiss a boy, he better be a prince.” Ohhhhhhh Jesus..what had these movies, make believes, fairytales done to me!

Fast-forward, 1993-2010, other than my hair cuts, fashion sense, and drink of choice not much has changed. Okay fine- lots has changed but one thing remains the same, “I still read fairy tales and I like them best of all.” ‘Sweet Home Alabama,’ ‘Legally Blonde, ‘Notting Hill,’ ‘Moulin Rouge, ‘Never Been Kissed, ‘Love Actually’, ‘The Notebook’ and basically ever movie Cameron Diaz has been a part of in the last 10 years. I mean come on ladies, we disguise them as “Chick Flicks” or “Romantic Comedy” but they are just modern day fairytales. Even my idol show, “Sex in the City” had to end its career happily ever after.

This bothers me and empowers me all at the same time. It bothers me because life and relationships are not fairy-talistic, they are realistic. I mean larger issues then losing a glass slipper are bound to rise in a relationship and even though we can relate to the more modern day flicks sometimes the good girl doesn’t always win. We still see these women winning the guy, kissing the prince, showing up looking fabulous at the ball with a one of a kind dress... lies! I would like to see what happens when Sleeping Beauty finds Prince charming with some other broad on the back of his white horse..? Or when Snow White realizes she can't live with 7 tiny men anymore because the Prince is jealous of the ragers and can't trust her? Or when Belle has to introduce the Beast at a networking event... how does she explain that one?

On the other hand, fairytales hold a great amount of empowerment. Don’t settle, enough said. Marilyn Monroe said it best-“It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." (You will probably never believe this until you’ve been there) Be true to yourself, people are only going to love/respect you half of what you love/respect yourself, they won’t value your worth, if you don’t find yourself worthy. Surround yourself with people who are going to make you better and want the best for you; never let people mirror their problems on you. And last but not least, this is a big one… if you are constantly in relationships that leave you with the “shoppers guilt” feeling, (it was such a good deal at the time) say bye, bye.

Sometimes you have to break your own heart, sometimes you have to make the easier choices harder and the harder choices easier, sometimes you have to really know what being alone is all about, Sometimes you have to be humbled, sometimes you have need expectations to crumble, sometimes you need to be your own best friend and sometimes you have to lose it all, to gain it all.

Real fairytales aren’t always rainbows and sunshine. They are hard work mixed with dreams, 2 parts timing, baked at 100% for years and years to come. Just hold on to faith and fairy tales..because when all the princes seem to rode off into the sunset with a gorgeous, skinny jean wearing, exotic looking Cinderella or when you feel trapped in a lonely, boring unhealthy relationship, just think… What if the 5-year-old version of yourself could come back... what would she say? I know my 5 year old self would come back and tell me to keep wearing the glitter, trust my heart, believe in the magic, kiss only the princes and for god sake never lose hope in fairytales.

With love and pixie dust,