Dear Gamers,
Recently I have been under a brutal attack. Under the harassment of the dreaded, double sided question that every single 23 year old faces. This attack is one of verbal bullets, hitting you from all directions and always when you least expect it. It starts out soft and slow with a, “Sooooooo…” (at this point I already know what is coming next and my stomach immediately twists into knots) “Sooooooo, Do you have a boyfriend?”
REALLLLLY people? If I had a boyfriend, don’t you think I would have brought him up in conversation… Don’t you think I would say, “So last night me and my boyfriend……” Everyone I know who has a boyfriend talks about him- don’t get me wrong, I mean it’s a great thing… If you have met someone at 23 and they impressed you enough to earn the introduction, “Hi, this is my boyfriend.” WOW, kudos to you! I on-the-other-hand have not found a guy that I want to stand next me at the bar for more than 45 min let alone to honor him this with that introduction. I mean the way I see it, when you have a boyfriend you talk about it, you tell people, you bring up stories, you say things like “oh last night (boy name) and I went to dinner and it was so cute.” For the people who know me….. WHEN is the last time you have heard me say anything on these lines… never… So why, tell me why… in the past month I have been asked “So do you have a boy friend.” 100,000 times! Whooo.
Funny story- I called my grandma the other day to say Hello and see how she is doing. She told me she was proud of my recent ‘adult like choices’ aka… buying a car, starting a new fabulous job and moving into the city. I told her that I loved my life and was so happy and really felt like things were all in place for me. Now every time I talk to my grandma she informs me of my cousin’s latest less-than-fabulous boyfriend or her friend’s grandchild tying the knot, and how beautiful they looked at their wedding. This has been a topic and point of conversation since I was a junior in high school. Now my response to this question varied… sometimes I would fib… “Oh yea, this guy and I are dating- he’s great” (when in real life we were facebook friends and occasionally I got a text message on weekends when his girlfriend was out of town) and sometimes I was honest, “No, I do certainly do not.” (you gotta keep them on their toes) I mean come one! So this conversation was leading into the same redundant topic …Without hesitation the question spoke, “So do you have a boyfriend.”
(Now in my defense, I had already been asked this 20 times in the last month, I was a bit hungover and someone had parked in my parking spot) “Actually grandma, you know what- I have a whole lotta boyfriends.” …… Silence.
Yikes! That’s not even the truth.. I have guys that ask me to drinks or I have guys that text me from other states… I have guys to keep my mind off the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend, that’s what I should of said. “Ms. Independent but she’s not alone.” –that’s my motto in the present.
Here’s the deal people and fellow singletons, I started to let this attack really bother me. I started to let the words sink into my core and swim around my veins. I allow the questions to overtake my sanity and I began to question myself. I said to myself- “Amber? Why DON’T you have a boyfriend? I mean everyone keeps asking and wondering.”And then I did the worst thing any self proclaimed single can do to themselves, this is when you get yourself into trouble... I asked myself the six words that can rip your heart into pieces and if you aren’t careful ruin your entire day, week or month… “Amber, what is so wrong with you?” Ohhhh OUCH!
Now I pulled myself out of this slump in about a week’s time… yes, I admit it- it took a week. Look I’m honest here people-any girl will tell you, sometimes for no damn reason you battle with yourself. You battle with the idea that everyone thinks you’re great and you think you’re fabulous… but at the end of the day you go to bed alone, cook yourself dinner, your favorite ring was bought my your dad, you go on third wheel double dates (maybe that’s just me but- hey!), you read “Dump the slump and find a quality man.” type books, and play texting games with guys who really didn’t deserve your number in the first place.
The way I see it.. things are so much more complicated these days.. Our grandma’s never had to deal with sideline hoes creepin’ on facebook, they didn’t have to deal with unanswered G-chats, drunken texts and all the other gaming our generation is consumed by. I mean this is entire blog in itself but honestly we complicate our own lives to no end! We are always guessing, wondering, over analyzing, going crazy in our minds, there is just no end to the madness. We need to take the reins of our generational game and either get in it or get out. It’s a game here girls that is hard to play, the rules are every changing and it’s a man’s world because when the lights of the stadium go out … we are the ones who are being asked the questions… why? Either way, I am back in the game, I feel like my blood is pumping another direction and I am ready for whatever twisted play comes at me next.
So here is a moral of the story ladies… when you start to become attacked by the double edged sword and the deathly questions begin to swarm your brain.. Remember… the sun is shining so put on your sundress and seize the day.. everyone knows the most beautiful girls are the happy ones and no matter if you are completely content with being single or walking around in a battle.. you are what you are- Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity and another game… so why not be fabulous at it!
With love and games,
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