“It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!”- Sex in The City

Dear Free Sprirts,

Some of you might be ‘numbers’ people, you enjoy the consistency and simplicity of 1+1=2 and that is truly a beautiful thing. I, on the other hand, loath with a great deal of passion, numbers. Numbers get me into trouble. I am absolutely terrible at math, I still count on my fingers and just take one look at my bank account and you will see; numbers and I don’t add up. I on the other hand love words; I like the ever-changing confusing world of words. You can take a word; place it in a sentence, move it to a different part, and watch the entire sentence’s meaning change. “Change is the only thing that is constant in this world,” A wise man once told me and I agree with this, I accepted this and I embody this.

Words and there ever-changing meaning got me thinking of a word that overtakes a great deal of my life and maybe yours. (Warning: if you just recently broke up with someone, you might want to take a seat)…… SINGLE.

It’s okay; really let’s talk about this…
Single: one, solo, by oneself; table for one; distinct, particular; isolated; unwed; individual.
The word Single never changes! Single will never mean more than one. (For you numbers people single=1 as 1=1) But in the great big world, depending on where you are in your life the word has such a vast difference of emotion and meaning attached to it. Sometimes in my life I find myself running from this word, hoping to be anything but it. Clinging to desperate and meaningless relationships; just so I don’t become associated with the dreaded S-word.

Other times I rejoice and count my blessings that this word follows me around like a lost puppy. I embrace the word and celebrate its only meaning: SINGLE. Sometimes I am proud and go to great lengths to announce my proclamation. But then there are times that I don’t… other times when I find myself, late night texting myself into trouble, just so I don’t feel the angry revenge. Or other times when I will break my standards and call up an old friend to muster up some revised version of a past relationship. All because some big event is around the corner that I can’t bear to face Single.

I’ve shed tears over this word, cursed this word, harbored bitterness, made mistakes, drank myself away and spent many sleepless nights because of this word. But other times, I’ve shouted cheers for this word, declared with great conviction this word, strived for this word, fought for this word, sang loud and anxious songs because of this word and lived many fun filled nights because of this word.

How can one single word (no pun intended) have so many implications depending on it’s placement in our lives?

Ladies here’s the thing, no matter when Single evaded your life… if it kicked you while you were down or if you are spreading your wings and about to dive into the single pool… embrace it, live in it, feel it, breathe it, have dinner with it, find the beauty in it… because no matter what mess of single you are in, at least you know you’re living it.

With Love and Single-ness,