Dear Free Sprirts,
Some of you might be ‘numbers’ people, you enjoy the consistency and simplicity of 1+1=2 and that is truly a beautiful thing. I, on the other hand, loath with a great deal of passion, numbers. Numbers get me into trouble. I am absolutely terrible at math, I still count on my fingers and just take one look at my bank account and you will see; numbers and I don’t add up. I on the other hand love words; I like the ever-changing confusing world of words. You can take a word; place it in a sentence, move it to a different part, and watch the entire sentence’s meaning change. “Change is the only thing that is constant in this world,” A wise man once told me and I agree with this, I accepted this and I embody this.
Words and there ever-changing meaning got me thinking of a word that overtakes a great deal of my life and maybe yours. (Warning: if you just recently broke up with someone, you might want to take a seat)…… SINGLE.
It’s okay; really let’s talk about this…
Single: one, solo, by oneself; table for one; distinct, particular; isolated; unwed; individual.
The word Single never changes! Single will never mean more than one. (For you numbers people single=1 as 1=1) But in the great big world, depending on where you are in your life the word has such a vast difference of emotion and meaning attached to it. Sometimes in my life I find myself running from this word, hoping to be anything but it. Clinging to desperate and meaningless relationships; just so I don’t become associated with the dreaded S-word.
Other times I rejoice and count my blessings that this word follows me around like a lost puppy. I embrace the word and celebrate its only meaning: SINGLE. Sometimes I am proud and go to great lengths to announce my proclamation. But then there are times that I don’t… other times when I find myself, late night texting myself into trouble, just so I don’t feel the angry revenge. Or other times when I will break my standards and call up an old friend to muster up some revised version of a past relationship. All because some big event is around the corner that I can’t bear to face Single.
I’ve shed tears over this word, cursed this word, harbored bitterness, made mistakes, drank myself away and spent many sleepless nights because of this word. But other times, I’ve shouted cheers for this word, declared with great conviction this word, strived for this word, fought for this word, sang loud and anxious songs because of this word and lived many fun filled nights because of this word.
How can one single word (no pun intended) have so many implications depending on it’s placement in our lives?
Ladies here’s the thing, no matter when Single evaded your life… if it kicked you while you were down or if you are spreading your wings and about to dive into the single pool… embrace it, live in it, feel it, breathe it, have dinner with it, find the beauty in it… because no matter what mess of single you are in, at least you know you’re living it.
With Love and Single-ness,
2.25.2010
2.22.2010
“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."- Sex in The City
Dear Sex in the City Obessers,
So call me obsessed but I love the show Sex in The City, so much in fact that I have somehow created myself into my very own Sex in The City character. I was too young when the show was actually airing to appreciate the life changing capabilities but now I refer to my pink box set as the love and relationship bible. My favorite character is Carrie; I feel that our fabulous-ness is most alike. And the only issue with being this obsessed is I find myself not only quoting fabulous famous lines, (trying to slip them is as my own), but actually thinking “what would Carrie do”. Case in point:
“There are some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself” (the bible) and one of my girl friends Lo, is this women. Lo is blonde and too pretty. She is not only one the most beautiful girls I have ever met but she is such a happy and wonderful person on the inside. She is one of those girls who when you meet, you are so jealous of her amazing-ness but then adjust because you think, “if just maybe we become friends, I can brush elbows enough with her to gain some tips or at the least be surrounded by the all the delicious men she attacks.”
Lo is one of my mentors and great friends, she’s poised, intelligent, content with life and lights up a room when she walks in. Oh did I mention she has an aspiring carrer in fashion? Yeah this girl is legit! Lo and I have had some fantastic times together, taking over nights and breaking hearts. Since we live in different cities we replay our lives to each other through various technologies. On our latest call she explained to me she was now talking to Mr. Perfect, but maybe not perfect for her. Now ladies, raise your hands if you have this man in your life, yes we often always do. Her Mr. Perfect for someone else, is handsome, intelligent, family oriented and has a nice bank account. He takes her on beautiful dates and since they live in different places, he visits her regularly. Where’s the problem right?! There isn’t one that’s the problem. See here I digress to the point…
The way I see it...there are two different types of dating. You can date for Marriage or you can date for Fun. For Marriage is the most traditional. Guy meets girl, guy courts girl, guy is so flipping fabulous and buys a huge rock and places it on the princess’s hand and they live happily ever after. This is how most of our parents dated and this is how many people choose to date. It is safe, it’s Christian, it’s practical, it’s romantic, it’s not filled with games and it works. (Warning: Do not check MY dating record for this proof) I am more of a hang by the seat of my dress type girl dating for Fun. Dating for fun is honestly ridiculous. You date guys with no real intention of marring them nor are you sure they know what the word marriage means. It’s not serious, you play lots of games and it may not be going anywhere but it’s fun. You always have great stories including that guy slash “something” (example: Q: “Are you dating anyone?’ A:“Oh I don’t know it’s not serious, it’s just something”) but nothing with a real relationship foundation. This can be a tricky and dangerous way to wear your heart, but for me, I love it. I call it The Independent Girl’s Dating Game. (that’s another entry in itself)
Now you see, the line between dating for Fun and dating for Marriage is a scary thing. It is thin, sometimes invisible, cracked in some places and sometimes transparent. When you meet a guy you start off on one side of this line, you make a subconscious evaluation of potential and determine your winning side. But then as the relationship continues all hell breaks loose. You sometimes jump to the other side of the line, because after careful consideration you have determined this guy is Marriage dating material or you decide that there is not a chance this dude will ever be meeting your parents. Crossing this line is the tricky part, sometimes you don’t realize you even did it, sometimes you do it to quick, sometimes you jump by yourself and sometimes you jump and crawl back with your heart bruised and battered. This is when things can get complicated and relationships become on the rocks, playing on different sides is never a good thing and a battle you’ll loose especially if you are playing it with yourself. Maybe it’s more about timing then personality or the actual guy you meet. When the time is right and you are ready you will date for Marriage and in the mean time date for Fun. Or maybe you’ve always been a Dater for Fun and now it’s time to switch it up. Either way, I continue to see this world of dating with sides.
Deciding what side of the line you are on is important and sometimes a hard self-conversation. But once you do this, it brings a world of clarity and helps with expectations. If you are dating someone right now in the present moment (or thinking about it) I challenge you to have this conversation. Whose side are you on: Marriage or Fun?
And here it is....my Sex in The City inner Carrie voice… “Can you ever date for Marriage and for Fun?”
With Love and Carrie
So call me obsessed but I love the show Sex in The City, so much in fact that I have somehow created myself into my very own Sex in The City character. I was too young when the show was actually airing to appreciate the life changing capabilities but now I refer to my pink box set as the love and relationship bible. My favorite character is Carrie; I feel that our fabulous-ness is most alike. And the only issue with being this obsessed is I find myself not only quoting fabulous famous lines, (trying to slip them is as my own), but actually thinking “what would Carrie do”. Case in point:
“There are some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself” (the bible) and one of my girl friends Lo, is this women. Lo is blonde and too pretty. She is not only one the most beautiful girls I have ever met but she is such a happy and wonderful person on the inside. She is one of those girls who when you meet, you are so jealous of her amazing-ness but then adjust because you think, “if just maybe we become friends, I can brush elbows enough with her to gain some tips or at the least be surrounded by the all the delicious men she attacks.”
Lo is one of my mentors and great friends, she’s poised, intelligent, content with life and lights up a room when she walks in. Oh did I mention she has an aspiring carrer in fashion? Yeah this girl is legit! Lo and I have had some fantastic times together, taking over nights and breaking hearts. Since we live in different cities we replay our lives to each other through various technologies. On our latest call she explained to me she was now talking to Mr. Perfect, but maybe not perfect for her. Now ladies, raise your hands if you have this man in your life, yes we often always do. Her Mr. Perfect for someone else, is handsome, intelligent, family oriented and has a nice bank account. He takes her on beautiful dates and since they live in different places, he visits her regularly. Where’s the problem right?! There isn’t one that’s the problem. See here I digress to the point…
The way I see it...there are two different types of dating. You can date for Marriage or you can date for Fun. For Marriage is the most traditional. Guy meets girl, guy courts girl, guy is so flipping fabulous and buys a huge rock and places it on the princess’s hand and they live happily ever after. This is how most of our parents dated and this is how many people choose to date. It is safe, it’s Christian, it’s practical, it’s romantic, it’s not filled with games and it works. (Warning: Do not check MY dating record for this proof) I am more of a hang by the seat of my dress type girl dating for Fun. Dating for fun is honestly ridiculous. You date guys with no real intention of marring them nor are you sure they know what the word marriage means. It’s not serious, you play lots of games and it may not be going anywhere but it’s fun. You always have great stories including that guy slash “something” (example: Q: “Are you dating anyone?’ A:“Oh I don’t know it’s not serious, it’s just something”) but nothing with a real relationship foundation. This can be a tricky and dangerous way to wear your heart, but for me, I love it. I call it The Independent Girl’s Dating Game. (that’s another entry in itself)
Now you see, the line between dating for Fun and dating for Marriage is a scary thing. It is thin, sometimes invisible, cracked in some places and sometimes transparent. When you meet a guy you start off on one side of this line, you make a subconscious evaluation of potential and determine your winning side. But then as the relationship continues all hell breaks loose. You sometimes jump to the other side of the line, because after careful consideration you have determined this guy is Marriage dating material or you decide that there is not a chance this dude will ever be meeting your parents. Crossing this line is the tricky part, sometimes you don’t realize you even did it, sometimes you do it to quick, sometimes you jump by yourself and sometimes you jump and crawl back with your heart bruised and battered. This is when things can get complicated and relationships become on the rocks, playing on different sides is never a good thing and a battle you’ll loose especially if you are playing it with yourself. Maybe it’s more about timing then personality or the actual guy you meet. When the time is right and you are ready you will date for Marriage and in the mean time date for Fun. Or maybe you’ve always been a Dater for Fun and now it’s time to switch it up. Either way, I continue to see this world of dating with sides.
Deciding what side of the line you are on is important and sometimes a hard self-conversation. But once you do this, it brings a world of clarity and helps with expectations. If you are dating someone right now in the present moment (or thinking about it) I challenge you to have this conversation. Whose side are you on: Marriage or Fun?
And here it is....my Sex in The City inner Carrie voice… “Can you ever date for Marriage and for Fun?”
With Love and Carrie
2.19.2010
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"-Plato
Dear World Wide Web,
I have decided to create a blog. I have been reading my friend’s blogs for quite some time now, holding back laughter at the comical value an everyday person can share with the world. So I have decided to create something as well, figuring I at the very least brighten some ones boring work day. My close friends say that I should write a book, about my crazy life, with my crazy friends, with my crazy encounters, to inspire or at least entertain the minds of other crazies. And with enough time, vodka and money I might just do that, but for now I will take advantage of this. So hold on your seats my friends (no one is safe), this is my life as I know it!
As some of you might know since my freshman year I have been obsessed with the number 23. I didn't quite invite this number into my life; it kind of walked in, sat down and it hasn't stopped buzzing in my ear. I run into this number everywhere! Sometimes in good times, sometimes in shady moments and the only common dominator is the number combo of 2 and 3. For those who of you that I have had the scary slash fabulous privilege of spending the last 5 years with, YOU know that this number has issues. So what does this have to do with the price of eggs in china?? Well people…… I turn 23 in April.
Now let me explain... when I was 18 years I mapped out my life, I’m a planner and that’s what I do.. I thought this was light years away… and on my map of destination 23 I would be sophisticated, charming, wise and calm. I would obviously be married to wonderful man with a( side-part and a bank account) and then we’d be planning our lives together. I would have a house and a job; driving to and from in a BMW. I would understand Religion and have control of the uncontrollable…
Well I obviously need to update my map, because I am nowhere near this destination! But have no fear, I have to be honest here people, I could not be happier with where my life is at 23. I am blessed beyond belief and I am starting a new fresh fabulous chapter in my life and from the looks of it, this one is going to be even more outrageous than the last.
So please come along with me as I document this monumental year in my life. I promise there will be tears, there will be laughter, there will be head shakes and there will be jaws dropped. And above all it will be filled with crazy beautiful life.
With love and 23
I have decided to create a blog. I have been reading my friend’s blogs for quite some time now, holding back laughter at the comical value an everyday person can share with the world. So I have decided to create something as well, figuring I at the very least brighten some ones boring work day. My close friends say that I should write a book, about my crazy life, with my crazy friends, with my crazy encounters, to inspire or at least entertain the minds of other crazies. And with enough time, vodka and money I might just do that, but for now I will take advantage of this. So hold on your seats my friends (no one is safe), this is my life as I know it!
As some of you might know since my freshman year I have been obsessed with the number 23. I didn't quite invite this number into my life; it kind of walked in, sat down and it hasn't stopped buzzing in my ear. I run into this number everywhere! Sometimes in good times, sometimes in shady moments and the only common dominator is the number combo of 2 and 3. For those who of you that I have had the scary slash fabulous privilege of spending the last 5 years with, YOU know that this number has issues. So what does this have to do with the price of eggs in china?? Well people…… I turn 23 in April.
Now let me explain... when I was 18 years I mapped out my life, I’m a planner and that’s what I do.. I thought this was light years away… and on my map of destination 23 I would be sophisticated, charming, wise and calm. I would obviously be married to wonderful man with a( side-part and a bank account) and then we’d be planning our lives together. I would have a house and a job; driving to and from in a BMW. I would understand Religion and have control of the uncontrollable…
Well I obviously need to update my map, because I am nowhere near this destination! But have no fear, I have to be honest here people, I could not be happier with where my life is at 23. I am blessed beyond belief and I am starting a new fresh fabulous chapter in my life and from the looks of it, this one is going to be even more outrageous than the last.
So please come along with me as I document this monumental year in my life. I promise there will be tears, there will be laughter, there will be head shakes and there will be jaws dropped. And above all it will be filled with crazy beautiful life.
With love and 23
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